DON’T LET IT DRAG…

A friend confessed that the major challenge in her relationship with the husband is her seeming INTOLERANCE of HIS penchant to raise his voice -at the slightest misunderstanding between them. According to her, such ‘scenarios’ usually drag into DAYS of (their) keeping out of each other’s way…with him leaving the house earlier(than usual) for work, coming home very late and goin...g straight to bed…and while in the bedroom-she moves to the extreme end of the bed-facing the wall.
Convinced that ‘such’ will continue to be a DRAG in their marriage, if she doesn’t make an effort to stop reacting negatively to that (unpleasant) part of him …she started making conscious efforts NOT to let misunderstandings drag longer than necessary between them.
The recent fracas between them took place sometime last week, she was watching the television when he came to join her in the sitting room, it happened that she was watching a particular program that he dislikes so much but she was too engrossed in the program to want to change channels-for his sake. And the next thing he did was to ORDER her (in a RAISED VOICE) to change the station.
Her response? She simply threw the ‘TV remote control’ at him and stormed off to the bedroom. In the bedroom-everyone faced his/her own side of the wall. Very early the next morning, he got ready to leave for the office(as he does whenever they are not on talking terms).She said that she was tempted to let him go but having realized how much of a DRAW BACK such ‘dramas’ have become in their marriage, she decided to be the BIGGER PERSON.
What did she do? As he was busy knotting his tie, she walked to him, took the tie from him and said MY FRIEND, WAIT AND HAVE YOUR BREAKFAST…YOU WANT TO LEAVE FOR THE OFFICE THIS EARLY? He broke into a huge smile and asked how she knew that he was starving.
As he was leaving for work that morning…their HUG was longer than usual. By mid-day, she sent him an sms-asking what he would want to have for dinner…his response was THAT THING YOU REFUSED TO GIVE ME LAST NIGHT!
Like you, I am also itching to know what THAT THING (that she refused to give him) is but there is a lesson for us here…it is important to LEARN TO LET GO. Besides, a massaged ego-there is nothing to be gained from INSISTING ON BEING RIGHT/BEING BEGGED. Don’t always insist on proving a point or being the one that has to be begged-when you have issues with your spouse. The only time BITTERNESS creeps into a relationship and makes things worse is when issues (that should have been sorted out immediately they came up) are allowed to drag. Learn to address issues (via dialogue) as they arise and move on.
What if that morning (while NOT in talking terms) was the last they saw of each other-as we all know how unpredictable the circumstances of life can be? Do you think either of them will forgive himself or herself for not being THE FOOL hundred times over? You had better think twice as you insist on ALWAYS BEING RIGHT. Certain ‘attitudes’ amount to taking life for granted. Marital bliss is when a marriage is blessed with two people who will rather be at peace (with each other)-than be right!!!